How I Got My Man to Step Up His Style Game: 8 Steps on How to Convince the Fashionably-Impaired

This is my boyfriend. When we first met, he favored baggy clothes, dressing loudly or "peacocking" and wearing his favorite outfit - polos and 1990's gym shorts. One time I threatened to throw the gym shorts away and he said, "Don't do it! My mom had to work really hard to try and find those!" Ummm... yes. There is a reason she couldn't find them easily. NO ONE wears them anymore. He also had worn the same clothes for a very long time. This partly that wasn't his fault because finding clothes in Korea to fit him is next to impossible. But the fact was, I was very eager to update his wardrobe. 

While I wrote these tips with my boyfriend in mind, that doesn't mean they couldn't also be used  to jump-start a fashion transition for the resistant best friend, sister, mom or dad who could use a game-changer in their closet. Anyone who might who might need to spruce up his or her look now and then. Here's how I "got" my boo to step up his own style game. 

1. Baby Steps - I never said, "Oh, your wardrobe is horrible. We must go out and change it NOW." (Although, I might have wanted to once or twice.) Instead, we first worked with the clothes he already had. My boyfriend actually has some great suits which he wore to work but that's about it. So when we would go out to dinner or drinks, I started suggesting he wear khakis and a polo, or cargo shorts and an oxford shirt. He saw how he got favorable attention not only from me but others. Pretty soon, I wouldn't even need to suggest anything; he was already more inclined to dress it up a little more. 

2. Use Rationality - Whining, threatening or withholding affection will get you nowhere. Neither will negative remarks. The whole point was having Stephen dress nicer, not that he would feel worse about himself. Instead, I laid out the reasons why it would be beneficial for him. My reasoning (totally stolen from an advice column in my dad's Men's Health Magazine I had read years ago) was this: 

- If he really doesn't care about the way he dresses, what difference does it make what he wears? If he wears clothes that I think look nice, he'll be getting more affection, kisses, and compliments from me. Sexy boyfriend = happy girlfriend = happy boyfriend. Meeow. 

- Girls are better at fashion. We read up on magazines; we tend to know more of the trends and tricks of the trade. Use us as a resource. 

- Besides his girlfriend being pleased, he also would reap other benefits. Typically, when you dress better, you feel better. You feel more confident and people respond well to that. 

3. Call in the Ranks - My boyfriend trusts me, respects me, and understands that there are things I know about that he doesn't. But even still. Sometimes he just isn't going to be convinced initially. So I used my fashionable friends as extra resources. Guys aren't going to necessarily start a conversation about what they are wearing but my guy friends were quite easily persuaded to have a discussion about it. When one of our man-friends looked particularly sharp, I would point it out to Stephen. Also, when Stephen was looking on point, our lady-friends would shower him with compliments. And who doesn't like that? 

4. Give Him Simple Rules to Follow - Stephen always said that he wanted to dress nicer, but just didn't know how. The whole world of fashion can be daunting to anyone - but especially someone who doesn't know the first thing about it. By showing  him specific things that worked or didn't work, he was able to start following "the rules" by himself. For example, saying "I like/don't like that shirt" won't help him to pick a better shirt next time. Saying, "I like that shirt because it fits you nicely in the shoulders, isn't too big around your waist and the color matches your eyes" will be helpful. 

5. Show Him the Possibilities - There were a couple things we stumbled upon in the stores that Stephen wasn't quite sure how he felt about. A striped henley shirt was something he had never worn  but I knew it would be something he would like and get a lot of mileage out of. I created an outfit in the store for him to try on. The shirt went from something hanging on a hanger to being a part of a spiffy outfit on a studly man. I also found a few pictures of men in henleys on Pinterest. By giving him visuals, he was able to "get it" easier and faster. 

6. When Shopping Set Clear Expectations - Let's face it, shopping isn't a lot of guys favorite pastimes. When you say, "Let's go shopping!" they just don't know what will happen down that rabbit hole. Seeing a long rack of pants he might have to try on seems really overwhelming. So I told him that we were going to try on 10 pairs of pants and then after that, we would go. Putting a time limit on shopping also helps. Having to grind through 2 hours of shopping doesn't seem as bad when you know can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also, strike up an agreement before you go into the store and then stick to it. One more expectation to set is what you are going to buy. Knowing what specifically you are looking for will cut down on time. 

7. Listen to Him - Stephen has his own fashion style, he just didn't know it. He liked to dress loudly because he felt it matched his loud, big personality. So I was able to use that information to help him find a stylish way of dressing with a lot of personality. We never got him anything he didn't feel comfortable in or didn't like. If he dresses better but doesn't feel like it represents him - what's the point? Also, during the whole experience I didn't try and push him too hard. If he didn't want to talk about his clothes and told me to (politely) shut it, I did. At the end of the day, fashion is supposed to be fun, not a cause for irritation in a relationship. 

8. Enjoy Him Enjoying the Reactions - After the first time he wore his new clothes, Stephen excitedly told me a story about running into a friend. The friend said, "Dude! You look awesome in that shirt! Wow! You look so muscly and thin." And the stories don't stop there. But at this point, I start to. When Stephen wants my input, I'll give it. However now that he knows the rules, I let him do his own thing and let him take all the glory. 

At the end of the day, my boyfriend didn't do anything he didn't want to. I can't make him do anything. And I don't want him to change. I love him for exactly who he is. I just wanted his outward appearance to be a better reflection of the funny, sexy, responsible, and intelligent grown-man he is inside. He was already receptive towards change. When he went back home this summer, a friend gave him a hard time saying, "Why are you wearing that button-up shirt?" His answer: "Because I'm an adult and want to look like one."  

Have you had any experience helping out a boyfriend, friend or family member change their wardrobe? What tips do you have to add? 

My dog, Pepper, wanted in on the fashion action. 

Debunking the Myth That You Can't Be a Fashionista - My 5 Tips On How to Look Pull-Together 90ish* % of The Time

*I believe in rounding up. 

When I started this blog, I wanted to be true to myself and what I was putting out to my readers as I possibly could. The outfit you see is always the outfit I wear that day. There's no photoshop besides getting rid of the occasional pimple. But I only post the days when I leave my house. The days when I wear an actual outfit - as opposed to some mess that is one step up from pajamas on a Nutella run to the grocery store. Basically, I don't always dress nice. Ask the lady that runs the convenient store underneath my apartment. She'll tell you some stories that will curl your toes.

I say all this because people say the loveliest things to me about how I dress nice all the time (not true) and how they can't pull off the things I wear (also not true). But I do have a few tricks up my sleeve that help me to looked polished and pulled-together even though 10 minutes before I left the house I was: wiping mascara off the inside of my eye (how did that happen?!), screaming into my phone at some stranger that I don't speak Korean, and trying to save my keys from the dust bunnies under my bed. Not to mention my apartment ends up looking like Miley's Wrecking Ball went through it.

So here are my tips on how I get through a busy work while still managing to look (mostly) stylish 50-90 % of the time.

1. Play dress-up. 
Ohhhh, it's my favorite thing in the word. Always has been. When I was 8 and wanting to play dress-up outside in wintery Chicago, my mom wanted me to put on this ugly, puffy, pink coat. I refused so ferociously because that coat would cover up my beautiful ensemble. She responded with "Life is not a fashion show, Lindsey." I believe I very aggressively rolled my eyes at her.

20 years later and I'm still at it. Every time I get something new to wear, I run home and try it on with the rest of my clothes. It gives me an idea of what shirts and shoes will work with it, what won't, what I have in my closet that matches and what looks terrible. Playing with your clothes when you have the time gives you a visual about how it fits into the rest of your wardrobe. This cuts down on time when you need to get ready in the morning. If you have a few options of nice outfits in mind, you won't be as tempted to just grab your ol' t-shirt and jeans and run out the door.

2. Only Have Clothes You Love 
I have too many clothes, y'all. But I love every single piece. If I wear something and it doesn't make me in some way feel good - I get rid of it. This ain't Project Runway. You don't have to make it work! So when I'm running late and I need to grab a dress, it doesn't really matter which one it is, as long as it's appropriate for the occasion and the weather. Because I'm going to feel good in it either way. No need to second guess. I have no choice but to grab something I love. I do admit I do have some ratty t-shirts, sweatpants, other work-out clothes and pajamas. But you know where those go? In a 35 cm x 35 cm cube.

3. Start Small 
If you want to habitually look fashionable, start with the classics. The basics that fit you great. If it's a classic look, you're going to look chic and put together. A great oxford-button up with flats and skinny jeans - you might not necessarily stop traffic but you will still look stylish. A little black dress with nude pumps. Think Coco Chanel, Aubrey Hepburn or Jackie O. Once you feel comfortable, step up your game. Add one extra thing that gives your outfit personality. A pair of wild platforms. A statement necklace. A bold-print dress. After that, challenge yourself with a trend that you're not sure you can pull off, but you're dying to try. I promise, you can do it. It's not as hard as it looks.


4. Have a Go-To Signature Look. 
When you're in a time crunch and don't have time to question whether the crop top and/or camo is work-appropriate, go to your go-to. For me, it's A-line skirts, with a belt and flats. As long as it matches, this look usually works well for me. Know what looks good on your body and what you feel pretty in. Know what you are comfortable with wearing. There are some days I think I'm going to look like a Guess model in my jeans and quelle surprise! I just don't. So after I spent all that time trying to struggle my large derriere into some hateful jeans, I give up and head straight for what I know works best for me. My go-to.

5. Don't Be Lazy 
This is one of my favorite quotes: "There are no ugly women in the world, just lazy ones." I honestly believe this. I've never met a woman I wanted to run in the opposite direction because she was hideous. However, I've met plenty of women who are so beautiful but they don't even realize it. And I just want to grab those ladies and slap a little lipgloss and mascara on them. I want to pull down that boring ponytail and give them a lady-like ballerina top knot (just as easy to do as a ponytail). Because it's these small details that make a huge difference. If you want to look polished, take that extra minute to put on a great lipstick - even if you don't have time to put on any other make-up (heck, half the time I put on my lipstick on the bus to work). If you're going to meet the girls for a cocktail after work, switch out your sneakers into some funky loafers. All of these things are small, but if you make a little bit of extra effort, it gets noticed.


These are my two cents on how I try to put my best foot(wear) forward when going out into the world. What are some ways that help you to feel like a fashionista? This is my first "advice" post so I'd really like your input - whether you agree with me or not! :) Thanks for reading.

Wine Tasting in Wine Burgundy and Chambray

The Sunday after the art show we went down to the Daejeon Wine Festival, which is amazing. You buy a wine glass for $3 and try wine (for free!) from all over the world. 

Because I had been wearing heels -standing and dancing- for about 12 hours the night of the art show, I just wanted to wear something really comfortable if I was going to be standing a long time again. To me, nothing says comfort more than leggings and flats. Of course, you can't wear leggings without the perfect top because as we know leggings are NOT pants. I don't even know what to call this burgundy thing - it's silhouette is that of a dress but it's just way too short for that. And I think it was Tim Gunn that said if you don't know what it is then it's definitely a top. 

The exposed shoulders on this top just wasn't going to cut it with the fall weather so FINALLY I got to pull out my new chambray shirt! I love a good chambray because it's so versatile; that's gotta be why it's so popular. Just like a good pair of jeans is a go-to, so can a chambray shirt. I like that it dresses down this outfit just a little bit but still looks polished. 

What's your favorite way to wear chambray?

 

Dress: H&M | Leggings: Target | Shirt: Mudd | Belt: Thrift Store | Shoes: Chinese Laundry | Necklace: Thrift Store | Sunglasses: Eunhang Underground | Watch: Citizen | Clutch: Clothing Swap | Earrings: Gift 

I Spy Style: Chine in Fall Florals

Hey y'all! I'm excited to announce I'm starting a new feature on my blog called "I Spy Style". There are too many fashionable people around me and I've just got to share it with you! This will feature anyone whose look catches my eye (and when I have enough guts to ask to take their picture with my sad camera). 

This is my friend, Chine. We met when we were doing both acting in a 10-minute play festival last year. Her style is superb. I've never seen her without two thing: an amazing sense of style and her exuberant, warm personality. I really love this outfit because she took this fantastic Monet-esque summer dress (from Modcloth) and seamlessly transitioned the outfit into an appropriate fall look. By adding the blouse and black nylons, no one is thinking about summer. This outfit seems simple - shift dress, blouse, tights, heels, belt - but it actually has a lot of personality, much like Chine! Besides the beautiful print on the dress, there are two other things I love about this. First, she chose black nylons instead of tights - they make her already killer legs look stunning. Secondly, those shoes are out of this world. In my book, a red shoe is always a yes!

Ballerina Skirt at Art Show Opening Night

This is one my new favorite outfits. I'm obsessed with the grown-up tutu/tulle trend. I got this skirt from one of my dearest friends (Thank you, Kristen!!) and I've been dying to wear it. I think I've tried it on in my apartment a million times trying to figure out the perfect outfit. I've been waiting to wear it because - even though I'm a firm believe on not "saving" the good stuff for special occasions - I knew it would be just the thing for my art show opening. 

This ensemble made me feel so girly and pretty. The lace, the tulle, the heels, pearls, ribbon and red lipstick. It's nice to get fully dressed up sometimes and pretend to be a lady. I wish I had more opportunities to do so.  I believe you should have an emotional connection with your clothes. It makes my style more personal and I like to think people can intuitively tell how much I enjoy being in my clothes. Life is too short to not wear clothes you love and feel amazing in. 

I must admit I was a bit apprehensive of wearing so much volume on my hips but with the wide belt and the smaller top, the proportions work well. Besides, Kristina Uriegas-Reyes more articulately explains why curvy ladies should wear petticoats and tutus. 

Okay, let me get out 3 more things I love about wearing this outfit and then I promise to stop rambling. One: I live the small details of the tiniest bit of edge: the gold chain, the leather jacket, and the wide leather belt. Two: the bodice is actually a waaaay-too short dress. Three: I bought the necklace for a $1 but I hated it. It was too tight and high on me. I added the ribbon and presto! I love it now. 

The art show was so much fun and I have so much fun mingling with Daejeon's finest. Everyone got dressed up and looked spectacular. Not to mention all my friends' exquisite art work! Thanks to everyone who came out to support local art. 

Bodice: Forever 21 | Skirt: Gift | Jacket: Cotacachi, Ecuador | Belt: Thrift Store | Shoes: Target | Watch: Citizen | Clutch: Clothing Swap | Earrings: Gift | Necklace: Thrift Store 

Last picture taken by the talented and kind Yohan Ban. 
Aren't my artist friends so stylish?!